Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Life is full of up & downs

There's a lot going on in my life right now - And it all hit at once.
My mom's BFF since 7th grade found out she has cancer about 3 weeks ago - She starts chemo and radiation next week. About a week later, a 4 year old of a mommy who also has a March 2010 baby was diagnosed with Leukemia. And while surfing around on Facebook Monday night, I ran across an old friend that I grew up with & then grew apart from. . . Saw on her page that she found out in May of this year that she was Leukemia. 
I was in shock.
I still am.
I am not sure how to process all of this. I don't know why said friend and I lost contact. . . I sent her a friends request, but so far she hasn't accepted it. We were friends on there - But she deleted me [I am guessing, I didn't]. Normally I wouldn't care - But we were really good friends through middle and some of high school.
I guess this is all a part of growing up.
Marriage is hard.
 Getting married young is even harder.
Being married young and having a spouse in the military is even harder.
Add in a kid.
DH and I have had our up's and down's over the past 2 years. . . And it's been either good, or really bad, this past year. I won't go into much detail - But things are a little rocky right now. We seem to pull out of these hard times - And we're working on things we said we would. But it still sucks. My heart was broken again Sunday night and I was a mess. Marriage is hard work. And sometimes, it plain ol' SUCKS. But it's all worth it in the end.
My little girl is pretty awesome. Scratch that - She's pretty amazing. Or how about - Amazingly awesome? Yeah, I think that's fitting. I love her more then life itself. She keeps me going when I don't wanna go any more. She may give me rough days - But those pass. We have more good days then we do rough - And for that, I am thankful for.
She's growing up way too fast. Getting big and doing big girl things. She amazes me with the things she learns on a daily basis. Her new thing is sitting up. She wants to sit up EVERYWHERE. I've had to start using the over the shoulder straps on things like her swing & high chair now - Because she just keeps trying to sit up and lean forward. She's sitting up on the floor unsupported for some time. Though not perfect. It won't be long before she has it perfected.
Seriously - What happened to my itty bitt?
She'll be 5 months next week - WOW!
With all that said, we're going on vacation - Emmersyn and I. Daddy is staying home to work. We're going camping at the lake with my parents. . . And other various family. We'll be gone 8 days - Camping for 6. I am excited. But nervous. And anxious. All for different reasons. And this time, it [should] be an actual vacation for me - As my mom knows Em better then anyone else outside of DH and I and helps a ton with her. So that's awesome & exciting. I am ready. I need it.
I would love a date with my husband one of these days soon. I love my daughter - And she's such a great baby when we're out and about. She loves being at restaurants. But I think we need a date, just the two of us. But I still haven't left my princess for longer then 45 minutes. And really, the only person I feel comfortable leaving her with for more then 30 minutes is my mom. And she's 2 hours away. Not that I don't trust anybody with her - But as I stated above. . . She knows Em pretty darn well.
Maybe when we go to the desert at the end of the month, we can get her to watch her while we go out, even if we're just hanging out with friends who'll be in town. . . We'll see. We'll see if I can do it.
With that said. . . I'll be back to our house on the 7th of August. I am sure sometime that following week I'll have a nice long post filled with pictures for y'all.
August 13th is my birthday!
Have a great week!

1 comment:

  1. Marriage is hard & being a mommy is hard too. I hope you two can find a way to make time for just the two of you as a couple. You sound like you really need it. I'm sure your daughter will be fine with a sitter. At some point you'll have to be seperated from her for more than 45 minutes. I know its tough but I think its whats best for you.

    Enjoy your time at the lake!


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